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Showing posts with the label deep listening

Devices and Defenses

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We've been having a lot of conversations in our house about how devices like smartphones and computers promise connection, but actually deliver isolation. Isn't that the case with anything we can become addicted to?  And then there are times when we place devices between ourselves and others in what seems to be a positive light, like as a way to take notes or to feel more engaged in a conversation, not realizing that all of our attention is on the screen in front of us instead of the person. No real connection is made and the good things we need to find in our relationships elude us. I get that for some of us, being fully present with another person doesn't feel completely safe. We do feel a need to set a boundary. In this Coffee Break, I ask us all (including myself) to consider that one of the contributing factors to our loneliness and isolation is that the boundaries never come down. I'd also like to propose that we start asking each other for device-free time. Close

Being and Staying Present

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I'm wondering about the invisible barriers we put between ourselves and others. Trying to have a conversation with a computer in-between us. Trying to stay focused in a Zoom call with a room full of distractions and notifications surrounding us. Are we really there? Are we really listening? Are we really present? In a training many years ago I was shown very plainly that I wasn't a good listener, though I would have rated listening as a core strength. That training was the beginning for me of learning how to become and stay present with other people, a practice that is central to my life. I've found that in business conversations that my ability to listen far surpasses in importance the ability to have a better argument. It pays off in a hundred ways in the depth of rapport I enjoy with my clients, the feeling of goodwill that presence generates, and the sense of regard that deep listening conveys.  These are a few of my thoughts for the end-of-the-day Coffee Break on a ver