Self-Consciousness and Flow

One of my frequent frustrations as a performing musician was the interference of self-consciousness while playing. Specifically, what I'll describe happened most often when I played a guitar instrumental at the edge of my talent. My practices would be exceptional experiences of focus and flow. In my studio, the music came through me easily, and my awareness of time and space and my place in them would fade into the background, and there would only be music playing. It was magical.

The experience in front of an audience was completely different. As soon as there were other people in the room watching me play, my tension would rise, and that part of me that cared about what other people think came barreling into my awareness. Self-consciousness would involve itself in my performance, and the sense of focus and flow I had in the practice room evaporated on the stage. A mistake would happen, and the tension would be even greater, and another mistake would follow, and many times, I would have to stop in the middle of the song. A few times, I just stopped and ended the performance.

This happened so much that I ultimately made the decision to not perform instrumental solos in front of audiences. There have also been times when my self-consciousness arose while I was playing in group situations, again most often while I was playing an instrumental solo in the middle of a song. Hours of successful practice would go up in proverbial flames, and my embarrassment would make me temporarily want to never play again.

I tried many promised remedies but didn't find any that addressed the problem satisfactorily. Traditional and self-hypnosis, NLP, meditation, relaxation, yoga, and others gave me a temporary state of ease. Still, the self-consciousness would return as soon as I played an instrumental. This annoying part of my character wasn't active all the time, but when it was, it made performing a struggle, and that translated into the audience experience. The paradox was the part of me that sought approval kept me and those in the room from having an optimal experience.

This self-consciousness didn't appear as often when I was singing. There was a sensitivity to other people's behaviors, like not paying attention, talking louder than I was singing, mimicking me as I sang, and getting up and leaving in the middle of a song. But I learned somehow to keep playing through those perceived slights and disinterested behaviors. I could keep the performance going and enjoy it much of the time. 

I found that bringing my focus back into my body made a huge difference. This made the performance only about pleasing myself and not making others feel anything. Again, the paradox was that this shift created a better experience for everyone. I've found this to be true no matter what I'm doing on a stage, music, public speaking, emceeing, presenting, teaching, or any other public-facing activity - if I stay true to making the experience enjoyable for myself, no matter how other people respond, they tend to go along with the flow. 

And yes, if I ignore that part of me who only cares what other people think and bring my awareness back into my body, my self-consciousness fades, and flow happens. And I don't personally have anything to do with it. 

Questions:

What is self-consciousness?

How does it work?

What is its source?

Does it serve a purpose?

Why does performing in front of people trigger these kinds of anxiety?

How can we access solitude's tranquility, joy, enjoyment, and flow in front of people?